handiramy's Blog

Just a stupid weblog

You know You’re Indonesian when…

on January 19, 2010

Your stomach growls when you don’t eat rice for a day.

You believe kecap ABC could turn bad cooking to gourmet food.

You talk during a movie.

You eat fried rice in the morning.

You prefer branded handbags like Marc Jacob, LV, Hermes, Gucci, etc.

You don’t think Jim Carrey is funny.

You think Onky Alexander is a hunk.

You think Rhoma Irama is kampungan.

You carry a 16 oz. jar of sambal to where ever you travel.

Driving a car that is cheaper than $15,000 embarrasses you.

You think dangdut is stupid, but listen to it anyways, because you are homesick.

You are willing to travel 25 miles to buy tahu and tempe.

You are “Dreaming of a WARM Christmas”.

You are very good at avoiding potholes and other road hazards.

Your local McDonald’s serves rice and sambal.

You think Supermi is a staple food.

You don’t think jalapeno is spicy, cabe rawit is.

You don’t get drunk from beers when you go to party, it’s all about the liquor.

You have ever tried passing a Rp 50 coin as a quarter in a US vending machine/pay phone.

You have ever successfully bribed a police officer.

You have ever successfully bribed a customs officer.

You do your shopping in Singapore.

Your drivers license claims you are 5 years older then you really are.

You have ever legally bought pirated software.

You have ever been forced to memorize UUD’45.

You have bought something from a barefooted street peddler.

You know exactly how many islands Indonesia has.

You have ever eaten something sold off a cart on wheels.

You realized that money is everything before you were six.

The first thing that comes to mind when hearing the word “Jakarta” is “macet”.

Someone you know has ever ridden on top of a train.

Your daily commute includes thinking up new ways to ride the city bus for free.

You don’t mind people being late.

You think standing in line is a waste of time.

You have tried every Monday of your youth trying to avoid “upacara bendera”.

You have used a mosquito repellant that looks like a coil and is lit on one end.

You remembered that there were times when people used the terms “Ni yee”, “-lah” and “Ih, jijay” on daily basis.

You know what Pancasila is, what it means and know it by heart.

You complain that movies in America don’t have subtitles.

Your daily conversation may include enactments of TV commercials.

You have ever consulted a “dukun”.

Your whole class has ever cheated on a test and gotten away with it.

You have ever spent the night before an exam looking for someone who sells the questions.

You like the smell of “terasi”.

You think the Thomas Cup is equal to the Super Bowl.

You can name a manufacturer of shuttlecocks / badminton birdies.

You have a 16′ satellite dish hidden in your back yard.

You have ever ridden in a motor vehicle with three wheels.

You miss your maid during laundry day because you are so used to having 4 maids, 3 drivers, dog keepers, nightwatchmen, etc.

Your clothing has brand names printed on it that is visible from 50′ away.

You attend weddings only until you are done eating.

You have attended weddings that you are not invited to.

You know more than one music group that stole the tune of Cranberries’ “Zombie”.

You have a can of Baygon on your kitchen table.

You make major decisions based on “gengsi”.

You take advantage of Wal-Mart’s 30 days money-back-guarantee to “borrow” home appliances.

You have paid more then $1000 to get your name on your license plate.

When watching TV you regularly find that all the channels broadcast the same thing.

You know more than 10 acronyms/abbreviations.

You set the ring tone of your cell phone as loud as possible.

You spend your weekends at an expensive five star hotel near your house.

You have one of those gigantic 5000 watts stereo system even though you can’t turn it as loud as you can since you live in a crowded neighborhood.

Your Toyota Kijang is packed with bull bar, fog lights, roof rail, car alarm, expensive car audio, gold plated emblems, tail light “protector”, racing steering wheels, sports muffler, lowered suspension, 17 inch wheels with expensive tires, etc. Yet you find them not “gaul” enough.

You are able to squeeze 15 passengers in your Toyota Kijang.

If you’re rich, you buy a huge US$ 50.000 imported SUV which will cause you 4 times to bring it to Indonesia and demand it to run minimal 12 kilometers with a liter of gas.

You refuse to buy unleaded gas for your imported car even though it costs less than 20 cents a liter.

You have your drivers license at the age of 14.

You got it without any driving tests.

You are unfamiliar with electric stove.

You are even more unfamiliar with microwave ovens.

If you’re a student, your main purpose in life is to succeed in UMPTN and get into a Universitas Negeri.

If you’ve graduated from college, your main purpose in life is to find an easy job with big salary at a foreign company even if you have to stay unemployed for five years to find one.

If you finally got a job, your main purpose in life is now to get a wife/husband that’s rich, from a “good” family, and the most importantly good looking in order to “memperbaiki keturunan”.

And you sure as hell don’t buy Porsche on a lease.

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Source: http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#/group.php?gid=2250494354&ref=ts

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